October 2010

aleenchain @ 2010-10-10T01: 02:00

E 'exactly a week since I arrived.

After all the posts about horrible things and sad, I wish I had a few posts of my life here at the houses.
My favorite moment is ready to eat in the kitchen. And 'Hooch, chaotic, messy, there are never any pots or dishes that you serve, remove the refrigerator before you find where your things are over, the challenge electric stove do not burn the stuff, run to the kitchen to your compartment to the cupboard to retrieve all the pieces, then there's the queue to wash the dishes and towels are still damp to dry ... sometimes get to the end that they are simply exhausted. but I enjoyed it a lot.
step Sometimes the meal in silence, enjoying the confusion and sketches of the other, sometimes, like today, I can talk.
Attach button while playing tetris between the plates I find it much easier than doing it once sitting at the table. There is always someone cooking something interesting.

seems too small here to have a reputation of being a "who can cook." It is not I know how to cook, more than I can say that I get along fairly well, is that most of the girls here are doing so for the first time.
Today the women of Rome (not otaku) Motl has enjoyed the smell that came from my frying pan (baked beans sauteed with bacon and grated carrots, various herbs and a pinch of pepper, with white rice as an accompaniment). and proposed to enlist as a cook. Auks I told her that if she wanted to cook something together I was very happy. And another (his pops) wanted to learn how to make white rice, because she only knew how to do risotto (ok, the thing I'm not clear even now). And then we had lunch together and rice and I finally made my first cup of coffee for more than one person. and it was nice.
The nicest thing happened later.
Over coffee I wanted to eat one of the fake hugs that I bought myself this morning and thought I'd offer them to the other two girls. so I have taken 6 and I was placing them on a napkin at mo 'flower. Since the end of the table is the girl singing "you can not! looks nice what he did! I was looking and I did not realize it now! but nice! did the flower in the middle of the three cups! "
...
Someone was watching me. It was nice to find what I was doing.
...
LEI (for which I the evening the choir so I have great admiration) was watching me, looking and was finding what I was doing.
...
I, quite taken aback, I replied that I liked "pretty much useless, but these things" (... why have the ham slices on a plate is useless, cardboard thrown on the table in front of guests is more than enough ...). She and her roommate were in agreement that, to have breakfast as well, but you know how well they would wake up!
I moved a mess. I know it's only a joke, but also why I moved. Because I would love to have coffee with someone-tachi so you can have for us-tachi flower-shaped cookies on the towel, knowing that this is appreciated.
And then a couple of minutes later, as both me and her we were shooting for the kitchen to fix our tools, but she hugs me to dodge. and I can not remember what he told me, but the gist was that it felt like a hug for a moment. And I said that I was happy.
God, how I needed this kind of human contact. To hear I go well, I come even appreciated a bit '.
There is always my esteem that friendship is above all in the field fell below zero, but by now I do not know well enough. The rush to "stay the excluded class" I have often felt since I came here, but I left it too often fall. A meal by itself, the fact that none speaks to me, do not take them more as evidence that I have failed to make me nice, but I am quite on my own. I feel quiet on my own.
But there is also my great need to feel safe. What a little 'scares me, because it is really huge. But has the
its reasons to exist.
The girl singing all of them feel safe. And they all laugh. Create an atmosphere, along with her friends, that makes you feel perfectly in the company even if you're not talking to anyone, even if you look only. And it's the atmosphere that the organizers of the school are keen to create their own, have it as policy. It 's more than sell you a room, a kitchen, a bathroom, that's all there.
I'm doing the full this atmosphere. I do not have it any more and I can not give (you must have a lot in, you must have lived a lot, to give it to others) and I will not give anything because of all that I have not given me anymore.
So get something, a laugh, a hug, a little 'sympathy for free so I am a good soul.
Sometimes I give myself something of this kind. I did not understand why, but when I chat with the Austrian girl she laughs a lot for the words I use. But just laughs heartily. But I remain astonished when she speaks in front of his ability to use Italian. The tenses are all beyond a shadow of its failure or delays.

Here is the group of otaku. Oh, counting that 80 percent of girls in here will start to study or is studying Japanese, perhaps we should say that there is a feature that meanders a bit otakujjante 'everywhere. One thing very relaxed feeling because I can play on common ground. But there are other ones otaku, which speak only of anime and cosplay, and after a while 'are a bit' heavy. When I see them are torn: on the one hand I would take a heavy club, on the other fangirlizzare know how much fun and so do not feel like sharing that attract criticism, even if a little 'if they deserve .... if they did not always talk about that, but gave the impression to notice the people around them. Just a little bit.
With them I decided that I will not make that much, because I'm sick of this type of company. The first night I thought that I would be fine with them, but then gradually I started to think "But there's more? It 's the same old story which extols him as a heavenly world in yaoi which all are so much Pucci and smile at you, where they exchange things for when you find brilliant cliché and instead are market choices that are positioned at art? Very nice, please, seriously, but I now I want another. "

This does not prevent me to have my interests cmq on, and launch of hooks so from time to time to the other girls otakujjanti, like the two that spoke of an idol group.
each other "... my boyfriend saw them and said" ah! but the bottom is a boy! "and I" ... ALL of the guys are really ... "".
I stir my soup "... but that group is?" They
"no, no, a Japanese ..." I
"AppuntoXD, who are they?" They
" i. .. "I
with the evil grin on his face" does not I know them, cmq a group in which all women go through is a nice place to partenzaXD "
One of the two later came to ask me to do with co-conspirator if I was studying Japanese.

I think it's excessive to bother me, not the fangirl otakujjante in itself.
But here, the group of otaku, at least until they put the adsl spread throughout the hostel, try as (intentionally or not) can not completely isolated. Must still eat, get out, talk to other non-otaku, and do not have company and concentrated on his obsession. company and here is beautiful, diverse, friendly and intelligent, is part of "normal" people but not the company "normal" in the sense of GrandeFratello, stereotypical fashion, creativity and free ways to spend (many) money a more depressing than the other. It 's a company that stands quietly for fun comparison with the fangirls, you do not feel excluded because fangirlizzi. I wonder how the

Thew would come out if he was here, instead of an apartment block and become well-disposed toward the black hole autofagocitante. A center of the world in which the world did not exist, nor that there were more people inside.
E 'a useless question, but I find myself often but I do not want pormela.

I really hope that with ADSL spread everywhere does not destroy everything here.
Maybe people here are less willing to be enchanted.

I've never written so much for the argument as this week.
And I never ate so much pasta and bread as this week, but physically I feel Strabo.

But Bonjour!! After months of inaction (okay ... you want the summer: P) I'm here with the Stone! So we left and Ivan singles just graduated, now what did we see the combined adult & hellip ; Penultimate update this legacy (following ola and choruses of happiness by me), and to ensure that it will not disappear for another 3 months (we read as "the famous last words) I want to inform you that I'm playing and thanks God exists and the new generation has a face! But of who will be this beautiful belly?? mmm ... XD Under the cut!

After graduation, there were quite a few events worthy of nota.Il first in time was the wedding of Xavier and Camilla.Ricevetti the calls and of course I went with My genitori.Ero excited and scared at the same time to see my cousin finally take the plunge but the thing that I found myself thinking more often as the date approached it was that after 3 months back I saw Summer.

Not that I think so much during studies that post ... I was able, once in Bluewater, to meet new people and renew contacts with old friends and above all friends ... But that girl, now woman, was something that attracted me and put me in awe at the same time . I do not think it was only his undoubted beauty ...

(Matilda thought: You idiot, you realize who you got away ?!?!?!?)

definitely the most excited of all was Uncle Devis, a little 'because she thought her daughter had really grown up a bit' because he was happy that she and Xavier have decided to do things seriously ...

A season the festival was also the exuberance of Samuel, which is surrounded by relatives and friends of mom and dad felt a bit 'as if he was celebrated.

The ceremony began, someone was moved without restraint (Mauro: I was the air that came into his eyes U__U), Xavier trembled a little 'voice, but at the time of the exchange of rings all how we were educated by a thrill of emotion, though I continue to think that was nice for them, but I envied them their own.

Joy: Do you think I'm still alive to make time to see Ivan the altar?
Tilda : Joy ... I'm afraid I do not even live up to this century!

function together at the end we did the congratulations to the new husband and wife!

The parties proceeded fairly quiet, except for the snow to the unusual time, when the cake was greeted by all with too much enthusiasm for non- notice all the empty bottles already spumante.Ma my family is so outlandish and simple ... ... Inside of me admired the courage of my cousin, because frankly I do not think that I would never have reacted so unexpected pregnancy, especially at our age ... hope that everything proceeded for the better was the least ...

With Summer there were no great clamor that night, we talked of this and that, of how he went after graduation, the work and time, a bit 'like acquaintances greet each other just to rispetto.In reality I did not know what to say and I preferred to spend time with her and informed her that Giorgio.Mi Elise and the rest of the gang FPCCC "source protection guinea pigs cute and cuddly" I was preparing a very big blow to the research center, nothing less than, Sim City.In that time we did not know that it would be years before rivederlo.Il shot went badly and went into hiding, as far as I know hangs out in the parts of a place called ... Stranizia

was also someone else get married, there was not even un'epidamia, what was the hurry to marry? Lenin, My university friend had made trap by none other than Heather, my broom mica University! They were married in great pomp and now lived in their house, urban, one of the two, just one that was closest offices him.

Every Friday evening by organizing a Pokerino between us, Heather first arrived that he wanted to have a hand in cucina.Cosi as Lenin always fall just in time for dinner, I enjoyed the appetizer & hellip ; a starter very very spicy.

Heather was so simple to please. It was manageable, did not require more than a little 'entertainment, a break from the routine double and a bit' unstable, risk.

She loved putting on just as she felt her husband's car in the driveway, so when Lenin came to us was sitting at the table only a few seconds, with the air of someone who knew a lot.

I felt guilty? No ... In theory, Heather was with me even before I knew then that Lenin had as little habits ... ... monogamous

The evening went smooth and I was almost always good ...

As for the work, and here comes the second important news, I began the internship in a private clinic, earning well enough to be all & rsquo ; beginning of my career but the credit was just that I refused the placement for the fresh Laurer stato.Psicologo I was able to afford, after only 3 months of work rather trivial, more than anything else at the office, a new flaming red ...

No, not her. ... YOU *___*

In fact I was paying in installments and grandfather also gave me a hand (no mother would have preferred would spend less for the first car), but to go to work was such a joy just to show off and to burst with envy all others!

Not to mention how it worked with the girls ... at least up to the doorstep, it is clear that my child should remain pristine and then it is best to exercise certain functions in the bedroom!

When even office work became monotonous started thinking that maybe it was not a great move to refuse public use ... It certainly would never have had a major role, nor all that great, but I had to do with real people and not with unnecessary scartoffie.Un friend of mine, actually the director of the clinic , start assigning some cases ... usually very simple, like Desperate Housewives just need a listening ear that, people for whom the analyst was more a luxury than a necessità.La good thing was that I could finally use an office worthy of note, my office ... in the former garage of my house! Great, right?

Months passed so fast, and flew a year ... My life was always the same, and I wanted to change anything, there are so many lives we can live that did not seem right to just change the conventions of society we live in ... I I did so, flawed but happy ...

course, my clients paid me to hear other things, maybe just a bit of work was' not satisfied, it was almost like I knew banale.Ma ... distract ... It was enough for a drive with the wind coming in through the window and all passava.Ma my car was too expensive to maintain, so once a month I took her to shine (fixed eh?). After leaving the clinic waiting for the bus to reach the body
... That day, I was very tired and could not wait to take a hot bath, and in these cases it is assumed that the bus you want to take them to face a delay stratosferico.Stavo shelter time to complain regardless of the other people waiting with me ...

"On Monday ago always late, there is the traffic of the airport taxi "had replied a voice there and then I thought I turned around and ... riconoscere.Mi
"SUMMER!"
"Ivan! What are you doing here? It 's a life that no see!

She got up to greet me, in fact it was a year that we had never even caught by chance

"What are you doing here?" I work here near the clinic ... "
"At the clinic, eh, and take the bus as us mere mortals? I just got out of that restaurant where I work as a waitress ..."

However he said with a smile, not with malice, I laughed too, seemed more appropriate rispenderle not "actually I'm waiting to go get the Ferrari that was to shine."

"The Japanese restaurant you say? "
" Oh no, I never got to go there is another one where I work "

I had answered with ease and I had hesitated to turn what I had formulated in my head in concrete words ...

"If you will be with us one night ... The owner of these I know, now I am always a discount! "

I had seen in his eyes that wavered and then asked me smile ...

" There is & hellip ; an appointment right? Just to be clear ... "I smiled a bit

embarrassment and assured her, was a dinner for two old friends who meet again after so long ...

" ... So many things we have to tell! "

We said goodbye and the next evening I picked her up at her apartment ... There was more embarrassment due to our history, it was like talking with someone new, make new acquaintances, or recognize what I had done the beat heart ... No, definitely was not a friend to me ... It was hilarious that night and you could see he was in his agio.Avevo thought of using the car to fetch my father, I did not want her to show off but in the end & hellip ;

-What a blow, Stone! Please please tell me that you try to back me!

well ... It was out every discussione.Il place was quiet, almost too much so much so that in the small room where there were practically settled soli.Un toast at work, another to the future, one in the past, an all & rsquo ; friendship ... The air was very calm and tension that came to me looking back how my ex was fading ...

But damn if she was beautiful, the more I looked, the more I remembered the time when calda.Anche ate together at the table at that moment I was reminded of what I had amazed by his natural and know what put me at ease.

I gave her my hand ... And she moved her ...

the way back I had to be really drunk, because after you have asked to see my studio I had also launched the keys machine! God, if I thought he died ...

After two minutes of driving I had to go back to fifa polished and then went back to my place to volante.Al driveway she was laughing like crazy, I thought even essermela gotten a bad rap!

-You had to see your face when I did scratch the clutch ... hahaha Oh what I would have given to have a camera! Oh stop stop, do not change ... I love this song!

All of a sudden, even the most followed, but now I was stopped in the parking lot while she rushed to the volume wheel and knew that he had turned velocemente.Non song ...

"What day is it? And in what month? This clock never Seemed So Alive. ... I can not keep up ... And I can not ... back down ... I've been losing So much time ... "

She sighed and leaned on the seat closing his eyes and swinging it around his head at the time of the notes ...

" & lsquo , Cause it's you and me. ... With nothing to do, nothing to lose ... And I do not know why I can not keep my eyes off of you ... "

said all that I thought, all I wanted to do at that time was ...
Baciarla.Lo stool while she was still with eyes closed, and eyes remained, but said that kiss ...

It was an amazing night ....

The next morning I woke up and I had a trovata.Solo post it attached to the headboard:

"Do not complicate things ...
E 'was good to see Ivan Stone & rdquo ;

Why? Maybe I had hoped would not go away, there was a bit 'wrong and for a few days I felt strangely useless and empty ... but I did not know ...

did not know that one day two months after I resentful.
And I did not know that that day I would try and that this would be a case.
I had no idea how many times he had looked in the mirror, analyzing and wondering if he was doing the right thing ...

Just as ignorant with how much pain and anxiety had been able to dial my number ...

The only thing I knew was that he had left the message on the answering machine:

"Hello um ... I'm Summer, you can just go to my house ... I ... I have to talk urgently ... "It was Friday and

that night I jumped to go to the poker lei.La his voice will never forget, it was felt ... I worried and worried ... I also
greeted her trying to appear as relaxed as possible ...

Once inside her apartment, made me sit on the couch, sat down to me and threw the bomb.
"There is a less traumatic to tell you ... I'm pregnant, Ivan ... and your "

BOOM!

I began to sweat and look at an indefinite point in the room while she went on to talk ...

"I was undecided whether to warn or not, in fact it was one night ... and I did not want to become something bigger than it actually is ... "

I did not understand a word he was saying, but certainly expect something from me, not that open and close continuassa mouth like a fish palla.Avevo Xavier's example with my cousin, and to them ... I thought the boy Samuel, their courage ... It was even more complicated now that it had fallen to me ...

"Summer if you're safe ... I ... well I will take all due responsibility ... If this is what you want anyway ... "

twisted into a grimace, and worried at the same time severe

...

Ivan I have not decided ... I'll keep this baby, I just wanted to inform you, I would have felt like shit to keep you in the dark. It was not what I wanted from you Ivan, so I can not imagine my life ... my family ... I do not want to build it on the basis ... of a liability due to anything you want ... and I have chosen, and is the best choice for both ... Next week I go to a clinic near here ... It 's better that way ... you know ... "

;

He knew, and he was not ready to be ragione.Io father, I was not Xavier and I was not Camilla! I wanted to walk alone with my ferrari and continue my life as it was! did not say anything about anything, nodded

... "Well ... now ... you'd better go ... There was no need to talk on the phone, but it is better ... I want to be alone ... "
" If you like I can go with you next week ... "I put a sketched by hand on the shoulder and a smile of circumstance ...

"Do not is necessary, making it more painful ... Ivan ... Goodnight "

I leave, and although it was too early to go to Heather for the call will go straight home.
my supper already ... I saw them shake hands and climbed the stairs to my room by a quick chat ...

I was not even like my mother and my padre.Ma them when they learned of my birth were already living together, they were young but they were determined not to be taken mai.Quella night not sleep very easily ....

Everyone says that the night brings consiglio.Beh than that in particular he spent another 6 and I had not heard from Summer, I was ashamed ... but I did not know that the first accident to tell her that she would end before she ... probrema.Non to nothing ... I was convinced I had been working casually for the whole week and I was not out of the house during my hours libere.Solo that Sunday I had decided to leave for the stadium with nonno.Non I paid no attention to that game . Come back grandfather insisted so strongly that I finally decided to stop him for dinner ...

"Joy is preparing the cookies, including two minutes are ready, ah that holy woman! " told me as we sat on the couch ...
" Yeah, "said distracted and he saw it ...

" Ivan must tell me something? You are strange ... now that you have not even noticed the topless supporter who made invasion of the pitch! I worry you're doing!

Ah if I knew my grandfather well, maybe in all my relatives that he was the one I looked more ...

"Grandpa ... I was wondering ... How did you know that Joy was made for you?

"Actually Ivan, I did not understand ..." he said with a smile looking bright ... "When I married your grandmother Miranda, I realized that they were all wrong ... but she had me Gioia.Con same ... but when I got to have it, I had left andare.Mi know I was scared ... She had a miscarriage while we were together and it deteriorated our rapporto.Mi felt terribly guilty for having felt relieved have yet to enjoy many years without brats between piedi.Ma when Joy made me my freedom ... I realized I have not bisogno.Ho had a second chance with her ... and I consider myself the luckiest man on earth for this. "

;

From the kitchen inviting smell of freshly baked cookies was accompanied by the cries of joy that just called my grandfather to go and felt prendere.Li bickering in the kitchen because his grandfather had tried to grab them while she was still a sprinkling sugar velo.Restai only less than a minute ...

But when Grandpa came back I found more.

I was still time to do the right thing and not waste my chance.Nonno of them had a second, but he told me that the same fate would happen to me? In the car I thought of that night, that song At that kiss, and what I had heard right at that moment ... a moment that was worth much more than that car and a lot more of my new studio.

got to the Summer Palace. ...

And running to the door of his appartamento.A every step I was more convinced than ever ...

It took a while 'to answer the bell, maybe it was dozed off, but I insisted until irritation ...

was surprised to see me and this time I was not to make her talk.

Summer-Do not do it! Please do not go to that place tomorrow and not put an end to this story! May not be as I had always thought of you, maybe a romantic and traditional, but mica is why we could not be a beautiful family, no, I mean .... I think that I could never give the key of my car belonging to any other you ... And maybe this essereno here, you may ... be the right thing in this world disguised as an error. ...

-How about ... eh? ... We try together? It was a

si.Sbalorditivo eh?

I surprised even me ... maybe if I stopped to think would have gone differently, but that was never possible in the midst of a week that was the real moment of absolute clarity?

Summer was fantastic and I just wanted to me, I moved to her, she would not weigh on my family and eventually earned abbastanzava well to be able to maintain solo.Fu a good time to pregnancy, the viziavo preparation, more convenient to eat a few snacks in comfortable sofa ...

myself found it hard to riconoscermi.Mi I took care of myself and the little ' only thought they were two ...

I noticed that Summer was still rather doubtful, however, I was convinced I wanted to, but you know ... was not very expansive in the show ... I know it's not true what is said of pregnant women ...

The night .... Dormiva.Nessuna you want in particular, not even a cuddle, a hug, it was cold and distant, perhaps had yet to be convinced as I was convinced myself.

There was also a turning point on the abandoned lavoro.Infatti altro.Oddio for me if they had said earlier would not have believed ever! A neighbor told me about a center them vicino.La pay was much lower but for the expenses that Summer and I had to face not too bad and finally I had more to do with real people with real problems who need real help, not a habit.

to think my life was changing so dramatically and quickly that I think the arrival of the baby seemed assurdo.Non could imagine ... I was thinking, trying to see it in my head, but could give no warning of what was to come ...

My cousin Camilla has always been a friend of mine, now wife legally, often came to visit us ...

me about his life as a mom and as soon as I would have realized that big thrill could forge a deal between the child's arms ....

He said that Xavier had finally found the job you want and how their life was going well ....

The only thing that worried her was her father, was greased to excess, and kept blathering on about alien abductions, UFOs and absurd things ...

And after all this talk general, taking advantage of the nap Summer, I made a little advice:

" not do shit, Ivan! Summer needs someone he can trust and feel safe ... Do not disappoint!"

That was why he was silent and wait to freddezza.Cauta not asking too much even in terms of feelings, and not a peso.Ma if I had seen in that way I would not have never married ... And then one night I told him ... because they deserve it and especially because it was true ...

"I love you"